For His Glory Not Mine


After an incident with someone I care deeply about sent me into a whirlwind of emotion and tears I called out to God, I'm sure you to have had these events in your life.   The ones where someone you love or look up to does something so hurtful and self destructive, not only to themselves but to everyone in their wake that you just want answers.   You want to know why people and God stand and watch it happen.   Im talking about those moments when your enraged that good people are doing horrible things that go against everything they say they believe in.   Those situations that happen to all of us, at sometime, where we go to God and throw our hands up and say WHY?  Why did you let this happen?  Why do I have to suffer, while they get a free pass?  Why aren't you doing something?  Why Me?   Why does everybody just sit back and watch someone self destruct?   The list of whys may be different for each of us but still uniquely the same for everything we think that is unfair in our lives.    In my incident, the emotions and confusion swirled like a tornado inside of me and as I'm on my knees before God my question, my plea is....Why?  Why are you calling me to this purpose, why have you pointed me in a direction that continues to break me, to test every fabric of my being....again?  Why are you taking me through the wilderness, while they are dancing in the streets?  As I cry out and sit in that place where my flesh, that's full of anger, bitterness and brokenness fights to over power my spirit that is full of faith, hope and love; a calmness comes over me.   Even at a time when my flesh is throwing questions at God, even when I am allowing my flesh power over my faith, the Lord is there.  As this calmness covered me I was reminded of Exodus 14:14 "I will fight for you, you need only be still." God is fighting for us all that love and follow him, the battle may not look the way we think it should, but He IS fighting for us.    "you need only be still" I struggled with what this really meant for a few days and while studying in the verses that are before and after 14:14 and, God revealed the meaning of His words and more insight to the big picture.   I'm sure I'm not the only one the Father has shook His head at and said my silly child its not about you, no really child I'm serious its not.   In my situation "you need only be still" means this ..... it isn't my fight, its a spiritual matter, one I have no business sticking my nose in nor do I have a single weapon to bring to this fight. Its not instructions to lay down and be bulldozed but it is a call to be more like Christ.   To show Gods love, forgiveness, and grace when it is not deserved, when its hard, when its pushed away and pushed out, when it is totally and completely rejected. This is a very hard thing to do, especially when someone is blatantly hurting you and yet calling themselves a believer.   We tend to think that we can change someones heart, that we have the power to turn their life around but there is only one that knows what each of us need, individually, and that's God.   There comes a time when we have to realize what we are here to do.... to KNOW HIM and MAKE HIM KNOWN!    We play a role in the battle but we are not the commander or front runner.   God always goes before us.   We don't know the true state of someones heart, where they really are with God, all we know is what they let us see.   So there is no way we can go to battle for someone else soul, we are not equipped with the weapons to fight that battle.   We are equipped though with an arsenal of weapons to fight for our own soul, the Bible...the Word of God and by fighting for our own soul and living by Gods every word we will make Christ known.   Every word of the Bible is clear and indisputable, its a clear set of commands and instructions on how to know Him and to make Him known.  In every word you will find that our call in knowing him is a call to be different, a call not to conform to the ways of this world.  Those who know Him are to be DIFFERENT, they speak different, they look different, they live different, they RESPOND different.  When the world says "you deserve better.. you deserve more than what you've been handed", those who know him say I deserve hell, I deserve nothing more BUT because my God loves me he sent his son to die for me and in Christ I have all I need.  (John 6:35 Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life: whoever comes to me shall not hunger and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.")    When the world says "Life is short do what makes you happy!"  Those who know him say I have but a short time here on earth to serve my Lord, to follow his commands, to live by his word and to live in a manner that glorifies God and in that alone I find a Joy that surpasses all that is found here on earth.  (Matthew 16:24-26 "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?)   When the world says put up you arms and take those down that hurt you, belittle you, and spew evil into your life, those who know him......they Respond with love and forgiveness....they wipe the mud they have been drug through off, smile, shake that persons hand, and thank them for the ride because they know the battle is not with them but that the situation at hand is about a spiritual battle going on within the other person. (Luke 6:27-36, Matt 5:21-26 and many many more).

As my time in Gods word over this matter lead me to the books of Matthew, Romans , Ester, Philippians, Exodus and so on, I saw a central message.... quit trying to do it your dang self!!!!!! Trust Me!!!!!!! I've got this!!!!    Although God had to take me to book after book to show me the message he wants wrote on my heart, all because I'm hard headed, then I finally got it...it clicked.  After this I was able to see more of big picture and get some peace with some of the whys.  By backing up into Exodus 13 after it clicked, Ex. 13:17-18 to be exacted, I found it intriguing that God didn't take his people out of Egypt by the common, well known/traveled path, the familiar way; He took them by way of wilderness-"Ex. 13:17 Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt". God knew their flesh would conquer their faith and at the first sign of things not looking like they thought they should they would run, right back into what he had brought them out of.  So he took them down a path where they had no where to go, no way to survive without running to him.  I sit here and ponder how many times God has had to force us down an unknown path because if there was anywhere to go expect to him we would go there.  I myself sit here and think of all the times I have blamed and harbored hurt because of people walking out on me, when in reality it was God sending me into the wilderness because if I had anything to satisfy my fleshly needs I would go there instead of going to God!  By doing this, by going somewhere other than to God, I would never make it to the Red Sea of my life, so I could be still and let the Lord fight for me so he would get the GLORY HE DESERVES!  Nor would he be able to display his power over the Pharaohs in my life so all those who would see would know that HE IS LORD!!!!

All in All....quit fighting so hard to get out of the wilderness, quit thinking it is so unfair, that you have been abandon.  Have faith in God and know he is fighting for you, if you follow him, if you give your life to him.  Its not about you or what your going through but how God is and will use you (most times without you even knowing) to show his power, His love but also to receive the Glory that is only His!!