So..... Now that I have your attention!!
Just hang in there and stay with me for a moment.
No, I don't want my boys to be miserable, to struggle or want you to think they are horrible children, nor do I want them to reap every ounce of what they will sow, what kind of mother do you think I am!!!
They are awesome young men, but don't forget they are still teenagers so this opinion can vary some days. LOL What I am talking about is something that God has been revealing and teaching me the past few years. Having a teenager and a soon to be preteen, you all know the parenting talks we have amongst us "moms". During these years of various encounters there has been several phrases repeated. There has been something that has stuck out to me, but at the time I really didn't know why it stuck out, or why it bothered me. One word has always stuck out... every time... it always sounded something like this ...they have been through so much, I just want them to be happy.......you only live once, I want them to do what makes them happy.......as long as they are happy it doesn't matter to me, there are plenty more but you get my point. In the back of my head many times I was like but "it" is not good for them, "it" is going to ruin their testimony, their relationship with God, "it" can start a ripple that last for generations!! But as I was sitting and talking to friend one day discussing life, faith and being a mother we rolled around to an issue that seemed to be heavy on her heart; (although her child is a little past their teen years, you know a mothers concern for her child never leaves and has no age limit rather they be an infant or adult) her child had made some choices and followed some paths that had some pretty devastating consequences, and I could tell she didn't agree nor want her child on this path and she feared for their soul, and their eternity. At the end of her sharing she kinda shrugged with a broken heart and said "I just want what ever makes ____ happy... just what ever that is" but she didn't, not in the least little bit. In that moment I understood what God had been laying on my heart and once it sunk in I will admit I was a little angry....at myself... because for so long I have prayed for happiness, happiness for myself, those I love and I have wanted my kids "to be happy" but not any more, never again do I want myself nor my family to just be HAPPY!!! For the first time I saw happiness for what it really was...and illusion!!! Something that is fleeting, something that can change without a moments notice, something based on a specific moment in time and something not based on eternal grounds. Happiness is a feeling; a feeling that can change in a blink of and eye, something tied to our circumstances, linked to our emotions and chained to our flesh. Happiness is quick sand, it is not a solid foundation to build anything on and therefore it is really never completely attainable.. its an illusion a very well played magic trick used by a cunning trickster!
You see I don't want my boys to find happiness I want them to find and experience JOY!
True.. Pure.. Joy!! I want them to be Joyful not happy!!
I don't want what will just make them happy, at but a moment in their lives but rather that they find joy in all they do so to last into eternity. I don't want them to pick a career that makes them happy in there 20's but one that gives them joy and a God given purpose into there later years, I don't want them to marry a girl that makes them happy and caresses their ego in a season but one that brings them JOY for a lifetime!!! Joy found only in a love given and created by God to not be conditional and reliant on fair weather. You see joy is something that is not fleeting, joy is something you can still find when happy has jump ship and run away due to uncomfortable circumstances. Joy is still there when everything that made you happy goes belly up!! Joy doesn't know a season, your circumstances or emotional state, I believe it is why the bible says to consider it pure joy to face trials, because joy is about more than a feeling in a moment but the condition of ones heart to surrender to the purpose of a bigger picture you can not see, can not control nor create for yourself. You see we create and control our happiness thats why it is unstable and doesn't hold up when trials hit. It is all fleshy and is about ourselves in a moment and it has no eternal value. Now joy, that is from God, the one who doesn't change, who is a solid foundation and no matter what comes at you, He has never nor ever will be fleeting, He is not tied to your circumstances, linked to your emotions or chained to our flesh. Joy is unchanging, and can be found even in darkness, in every emotion, every trial, every circumstance. Joy never hides till the sun starts shining again. Joy is what you find when you let go of what you think will bring you happiness and live by Gods unchanging, rock solid, time tested Word. So many times in the bible it talks about joy, to find joy in the Lord, to find joy in all circumstances, shout for joy, to be given joy, to seek joy.. because Joy is eternal, happiness on the other hand is bound by time and conditions. I myself can't see Jesus speaking to anyone and any circumstance, and His counsel to them be "do what makes you happy, I just want you to be happy"..........
......................just let that sink in....................................
................a few more moments.......................................
....Do you really think thats what Jesus would say to you if He was sitting across the table from you right now in the dead center of your current situation........?????........... although I have heard this statement from numerous Christians when counseling someone at a crossroads: "You know God just wants us to be HAPPY." I do not believe for one second Jesus died, endured all He did, rose from the grave for me to be "happy" in this life; because to believe that would mean it is all about me, that the reason I'm here, the reason I was knitted in my mothers womb, that I am wonderfully made, that you were wonderfully made is for My own personal gain and enjoyment, for my own purpose as I see fit to make me HAPPY. You see I know I was created, my children were created and you too, to bring God glory, to advance HIS kingdom not our own, to serve HIM not ourselves, to trust what HE can and has given us and not what we can give to ourselves, I am here for HIS purpose, for HIS victory and I know and find joy in the fact that my happiness is not a necessary factor in any of it. I want my boys lives to be filled with Joy not Happiness. I want them to know that when their world turns upside down that they have a reason to push forward, look ahead because they have filled their lives with things and people that bring them Joy and closer to God, by seeking to satisfy Him more than their flesh. By looking past a fleeting moment, filling their lives with things and people that they know are from God because they have pursued them through the guidance of His Word testing everything through scripture and can have rest in times of trail and tribulation knowing these things are never fleeting, always rock solid and unchanging because they are not based on an emotion bound by time and conditions but they are an eternal gift given by their Creator! So I will no longer pray for my boys to find happiness or be the mom that wants what ever makes them happy. I want sooooo much more for my boys lives than just their flesh being satisfied through varied moments in time, I want their lives to be captivated by the One who can satisfy their every need in every situation through eternity.
I pray they find Joy!!!
